Dazed with a Blank Stare
Sitting in the cold bathroom staring at the one piece of wallpaper starting to peel off the wall. Dazed with a blank stare unsure of what is really going on in your head.

Is there even anything going on in my head or am I just staring?

As the howl of the wind hitting the bathroom window, snaps you out of the unthoughtful stare.

Turning toward the door and hear kids yelling, dogs barking, the television is loud, and the microwave won’t stop beeping.

Doubting the ability to continue with the day.

Why can’t I move? Why don’t I just push through like everyone else does? Why is the mental load so hard on me?

Tears flow down your cheek as you realize there is no one to turn to… no friends that care to listen—no family that you want to burden. So, the tears begin to flow harder… the sound coming out of your mouth is one you don’t recognize… the feeling in your stomach is one you only know from loosing a loved one.

Your hands become fists – so tightly squeezed that you can feel your nails dig into your palms.

The thoughts in your head seem to get worse.

I can’t do this. I can’t be these children’s mother. I can’t do all the things that come along with parenting. I am done. I want to run away. But where would I go? Who would I be?

As your youngest child starts knocking on the door, asking if you are in there—you unclench your fists, your shoulders calm, quickly brushing away the tears, and trying to “put yourself back together” as you pray to God for the strength to get you through the day.

Opening the bathroom door and seeing a beautiful smile on a little child’s face as they are extremely excited to see their mother.

The next steps, movements, conversations, moments with the children are now some of the hardest to endure.

What brought me to that point of tears? Does it matter what it was? Is it okay that I felt that? Am I normal?

There are many things running through your head for the rest of the evening. Laying in bed wondering if tomorrow will be the same... Wondering if you are “normal” … Are other mothers like this, or is it just me?
 
Let’s talk for a second... It is okay to have these moments. It’s okay to feel your feelings. It’s even okay to hide them. It’s okay to show your children your feelings. It’s okay to take a moment to yourself. This is okay.
 
Don’t forget to check out what I enjoy as a mental boost mid-day which has helped my mental state most days (again, these moments are okay...)

If you need to seek professional help—Text HOME to 741741.

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Meet Heather Martin

 
The sterile scent of hospitals, the hushed, hopeful whispers, and the gnawing fear that lives in every waiting room – these became the unwanted backdrop of my life. It wasn't a single event, but a relentless series of challenges that slowly, profoundly, reshaped my understanding of health and ultimately, my purpose.

It began with my own daughter's cancer diagnosis. The helplessness I felt was amplified a thousandfold. As we navigated her treatment, I scrutinized every aspect of her care, seeking not just survival, but thriving. I began to ask different questions, looking beyond the conventional to see how diet, lifestyle, and a holistic approach could support her body through the immense challenges she faced.

Then, the world tilted on its axis with my beloved father. His terminal cancer diagnosis was a crushing blow, an unyielding reality that traditional medicine, for all its marvels, couldn't alter. We watched, we hoped, we grieved. In the midst of that raw pain, a seed of curiosity took root: Was there more to healing than what we were being told?

My own body then sent a jarring message. I experienced a hemiplegic migraine, an terrifying event that starkly mimicked stroke-like symptoms. The sudden loss of function, the fear, the uncertainty – it was a profound wake-up call. It forced me to confront my own health, which I had unconsciously neglected while caring for others. It was in that moment of vulnerability that I truly understood the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit.

I realized then that I didn't just want to heal; I wanted to understand why we get sick and how to build true, resilient health from the ground up. I wanted to change the trajectory of my own life, and more importantly, my family's life, away from chronic illness and towards vibrant well-being.

This intense, personal journey ignited an unshakeable passion within me. I devoured knowledge, exploring functional nutrition, mind-body practices, and the profound impact of lifestyle on health. I became an integrative health practitioner because I couldn't keep this newfound understanding to myself. My deepest desire is to guide others through their own health challenges, to empower them with the knowledge and tools to create their own new beginnings, and to help them rewrite their family's health story, just as I've strived to do for my own. It's not just a profession; it's a calling born from love, loss, and a relentless hope for a healthier future for all.
 

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