Do you feel like you are doing it all? Do you ever look at your spouse or significant other and think “why don’t you notice that something needs to get done”?
Sometimes you feel like you are doing it all. You feel overwhelmed and tired… you don’t understand why he doesn’t notice certain tasks need to get done around the home.
Don’t get me wrong, your spouse is amazing—he works outside the home, he provides for your family, he does many of the heavy lifting projects, and sometimes you even get a special thank-you flower or chocolates from him!
But—you may look at something and think-- now, why didn’t he just wash his bowl in the already water-filled sink? OR why did he just go to bed instead of getting the bottles ready for the night? It can be difficult to think of all the good things he does for you when you’re in that heated moment of noticing something small he didn’t do.
We all have these feelings at some point and maybe these feelings are more then you would like. It is important to come up with a way to get these thoughts out of your head. Or a way to remember how amazing he truly is.
One thing that I do when I am feeling overwhelmed or frustrated—is journaling. This is a great way to get those thoughts out of your head and out onto paper or into your computer. You can journal at night before bed after a long day, or simply write down what is frustrating you while in the moment.
Many people tend to keep their feelings inside and that is not healthy. It is important to write it down, talk it out, and get it out or it may lead to resentful feelings. These resentful feeling will someday come out when you notice your husband walking by the same dirty socks on the floor for the tenth time and he didn’t pick them up. This method won’t resolve anything. He will look at you like a crazy person for getting mad at him for not noticing the dirty socks on the floor.
My after-journaling thoughts are usually trying to understand where he is coming from. Why did he not see that sock? Why am I the only one that gets the bottles ready for the night? Well… one solution may be our brains are wired differently. Also, I do this ALL day so maybe I am more aware.
Would you notice the condiments are facing the wrong way at the grocery store, unless you worked there and that was your job?
Now, I am not saying your spouse shouldn’t help and that this is YOUR job… but what I am trying to help you understand is that maybe your spouse truly doesn’t notice those socks, or maybe he has something else on his mind that doesn’t pertain to household duties that you always take care of.
It’s healthy to communicate in a relationship. If you are feeling some of these feelings then your spouse needs to be aware prior to you blowing up at him. Make sure you are calm and have had time to think about a way to gently bring up this topic. You don’t want him to feel like you are ganging up on him in any way. Understand each other and where you are both coming from – then come up with ways to resolve this issue together.
Don’t let the little things bug you. You live one life… if it’s irritating—say something… if it’s something that you roll your eyes at but you can let it go – then let it go (I know you started singing Frozen when you read that).. Letting it go means truly letting it go; don’t talk about this event in a heated moment later on because you held onto it.
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